Skull Session: Bruce Thornton Can Do It All, Evan Ravenel Pulls in 60 Fish, and Quinn Ewers Believes Mullets Are Coming Back

Excuse me, could someone please get Mark Pantoni on the phone?

When I was a freshman, I could still fit my field day shirt from first grade. Granted, not much has changed on that front.

Word of the Day: Jocose.

 EVAN RAVENEL, FISHERMAN. It looks like Evan Ravenel is making extremely good use of the offseason. My guy’s out here looking like he’s auditioning for deadliest catch.

I’m gonna need him to go ahead and shoot me an address now because that is going to be one hell of a fish fry and my stomach is not about to miss that.

 BUSINESS IN THE FRONT, PARTY IN THE BACK. In today’s name, image and likeness world, Quinn Ewers isn’t gonna have to do much personal marketing – he’s already got a damn strong brand – his hair.

Even from afar you notice the flow. Peeking out of the back of his helmet, Quinn Ewers’ shock-blond mullet bounces as he runs. He’s not alone. At the sprawling football facilities at Carroll Senior High School in Southlake, Texas, more than a few of Ewers’ teammates rock the same look. The color is the norm for the Dragons. Players in the program have bleached their hair blond for more than two decades in a sign of brotherhood and to honor the program’s former defensive coordinator Charlie Stalcup. Billy Ray Cyrus-style early-90s hairdos, however, are a recent addition.

Ewers decided to wear a mullet as a freshman. He wanted to do his own thing. But people tend to notice what Ewers does these days.

“There are a lot more now than there was,” Ewers told 247Sports. “Mullets are coming back.”

We’ll leave that to the future to decide. But Ewers, at least, seems to have a brand set ahead of his senior year of high school. This makes sense. Few quarterbacks in history have had such distinct talent as a recruit.

Ask Dodge about something few people know about Ewers and said his star QB likes to hunt and fish – Ewers’ biggest buck is an 11-pointer he shot two seasons back. Ask his parents the same thing and Curtis responds: “Honestly, he’s a pretty boring kid. He likes to hunt and fish. He’s a film junkie. He loves his mom and sisters to death. He’s a pretty average Joe.”

Just with a mullet and a rocket arm, of course.

« Mullets are coming back. » Print the shirts.

Being real though, if he does rock the mullet throughout his college days, I’m nearly positive he could turn it into a fantastic marketing opportunity. How many branded wigs do you think he could sell? Headbands? Hats?

It’s all for fun now, but soon that mullet is going to be worth so much money it’s going to need its own insurance policy.

 WHATEVER IT TAKES. Bruce Thornton’s probably going to end up as the highest-rated guard to sign with Ohio State since D’Angelo Russell (unless ESPN continues to rank him outside of their top-100, which is mindboggling).

He’s an elite, elite individual player, but his best trait is his willingness to do absolutely anything his team needs him to do to get a win, whether it’s dropping nearly 50 points, or not even attempting a single shot.

That’s not hyperbole. Both of those things have happened.

“He said, ‘Next year, I’m gonna have to take a step back from my scoring to allow (2023 five-star guard and teammate Kanaan Carlyle) to grow. My goal this year is to lead the team in assists and win state,’ ” said Adam Gibbs, Milton assistant coach and director of The Skill Factory TSF, Thornton’s AAU program. “I don’t know too many kids who that would be their goal.”

“Do you want the guy that can control your team and do everything or do you want the guy who’s going to put up gaudy numbers?” Julian Barfield, Thornton’s coach at The Skills Academy, said. “He’s like, ‘No, I didn’t have the off-the-rim dunk like the other person had who had 25, but guess what? I won.’ ”

That’s not to say he can’t put up those numbers. Barfield said Thornton had a 49-point effort for Milton last season during which he didn’t have a single dunk. And yet, in another game, he didn’t take a single shot and finished with around 13 assists in a blowout win.

When you’re that versatile and adaptable, off games don’t really exist. And I don’t think I need to explain how much of an asset that is in a sport that crowns its national champion in a massive tournament when one bad game can end an entire season’s worth of work.

It’s a few years off, but I’d gladly hand Thornton the keys to my team.

 WORLD’S COOLEST FOOTBALL CAMP. I’m neither a youth nor a football player, but I’m sitting here trying to find a way I can qualify for this football camp because I cannot imagine a more iconic coaching duo.

I hope they teach these kids the play where they scramble around in the backfield and then hit a receiver with a 50-yard bomb downfield.

Who did it better?

 SONG OF THE DAY. « Come As You Are » by Nirvana.

 NOT STICKING TO SPORTS. A former Harlem kingpin is hitting the streets to counsel youth after 38 years in prison where he earned a PhD… A mysterious airbase is being built on a volcano… One man’s amazing journey to the center of the bowling ball… “Friends” and the illusion of perfect adult friendships… Her « weird » landlord was her friend, but then she ended up dead in a lake… Computers will be able to read images from your brain within a decade…