Skull Session: Bears Fan Stays Alive to See Justin Fields, Oklahoma Fans Think Jantzen Dunn Used Roids, and Alec Yoder Makes the Olympics

52 years ago today, Neil Armstrong became the first man to step foot on the on the large igneous space rock we love to know as The Moon.

As legend would have it, he promptly claimed it for the Great State of Ohio. You can celebrate with an out-of-this-world shirt (dad jokes on point today) and take a cool 20% off with the code OURMOON21, if you’re into that sort of thing.

Nothing like a little shameless promotion to kick off the morning, am I right?

Word of the Day: Obloquy.

 CAN’T DIE YET. I have yet to be shot in the back (or anywhere else, for that matter), but if it ever happens, I sincerely hope I respond just like this legendary fellow.

In the early hours of June 20, 41-year-old Scott Morrow was walking to a friend’s place in Humboldt Park when he was shot in the back and collapsed to the ground, as Block Club Chicago reported. When he came to, he remembers being dizzy and in pain while police officers were at his side. Soon, Morrow was loaded into an ambulance. He first thought of his mother, his family and his friends. Shortly after, his mind turned to his beloved Bears and Fields, the rookie quarterback who represents the franchise’s great hope.

“Within a couple moments, I thought well, I’m 41, pretty much all of Chicago has gone our whole lives without even having great prospects for a franchise quarterback, I can’t die before seeing Justin Fields take the field, man, » Morrow said.

“I think there was maybe a little power of the Beloved coursing through the veins there. A couple two or three extra shots of adrenaline.

« I don’t plan to die before he’s a Hall of Famer. »

You’ll be pleased to hear that Scott did not die, and he even got to meet his reason to live.

Now that he’s moved the sticks to « I don’t plan to die before he’s a Hall of Famer, » it looks like Scott’s gonna have to keep himself alive for like another two decades, which is extremely bold. I don’t even feel comfortable planning to be alive for the next two years, much less two decades.

 ALEC YODER, OLYMPIAN. Former Ohio State gymnast Alec Yoder’s path to the Olympics has not been easy.

To be fair, that’s mostly because it uh, nobody’s path to the Olympics is easy, since it’s the damn Olympics. But Yoder’s life has been full of unique challenges, too – too many injuries to count, extremely loud haters, and near fincancial ruin.

But he did it. He’s heading to Tokyo now, and so are his infamous celebrations.

Yoder scrambled to pay rent for his Columbus apartment. He made deliveries for DoorDash, did photography for a few clients and made withdrawals from savings.

“In my mind, the end goal was, I was going to make the Olympic team,” he said. “If I’m at a job for seven or eight hours a day, it’s not going to work out. I bunkered down and tried to do everything I could to salvage as much as I could.

“I never joined this sport to get rich. If I go broke trying to make the Olympic Games, it’s all good with me.”

The routine itself lasts just 40 seconds. But pommel horse “just comes at you,” Watson once said. There are no interludes as the gymnast swings both legs and moves along the leather-covered frame featuring plastic handles (pommels).

Yoder’s reaction reflected release of frustrations, anxieties, insecurities and setbacks.

“In that moment, all your hard work has paid off,” he said. “People always complain about how loud I am, and it’s obnoxious. But if you were in my shoes, you worked like this, going against the grain, giving up opportunities, giving up friendships, staying home and waking up early and eating right . . .

“If you did all of that and had a moment like that, you wouldn’t just sit there and clap. It’s what I always want people to get through their head.”

Let’s go ahead and make a rule – if you’re one of like the 10 best in the world at what you do, nobody gets to tell you how to celebrate when you do your thing. Cool? Cool.

 REPRESENTING QBU. Fun fact – for as absurdly good as Ohio State’s quarterback play has been the past two decades or so, there is exactly one former Buckeye that’s currently a starting quarterback in the professional ranks (not counting Joe Burrow; I know y’all love to trap me in technicalities), and it’s not either of the first-round picks currently on NFL rosters.

Behold, IFL legend Verlon Reed.

For all you Buckeyes out in Northern Arizona (I know there is a strangly large Ohio State contingent around those parts), it is now your duty to make the pilgrimage to the storied Findlay Toyota Center to watch Ohio State’s only starting professional quarterback.

 JEALOUSY, JEALOUSY. It took Jantzen Dunn less than an hour to realize that he actually wanted to play for Ohio State instead of Oklahoma, but it seems it’s going to take Oklahoma fans a lifetime to get the hell over it.

After Dunn’s father posted those amazing body transformation photos on Twitter yestrerday, some Sooner fans embraced their inner Wolverine, insisting that with results like that, Ohio State must be cheating.

The funniest part about this is that this serves as a hilarious self-own, because by insisting that Ohio State must cheating based one fairly normal (albeit, still impressive) body transformation, you’re pretty much admitting that your strength and conditioning staff cannot do this. Which means that sucks.

Anyway, Father Dunn got wind of these rumors and he was understandably displeased.

Here’s hoping Dunn gets a shot at Oklahoma on the field in the next 3-5 years. I’ll be pleased to see those fireworks.

 SONG OF THE DAY. « She’s Got The Look » by Guttermouth.

 NOT STICKING TO SPORTS. The government unknowingly commissioned furry art to promote the Tokyo Olympics… The big business of nobility titles… There’s a scientific reason why humans love drumming… According to Netflix, complaining about your coworkers is a fireable offense…