Last Sunday, our sources notified us that a Big Ass Skull was found in the desert by local layabout Chumble Chunderson.
“We were wanderin’ around the desert, my buds and I, when outta nowhere this big ass skull comes up under me and I just go flyin’,” said Chunderson. “When I came to my senses, there it was; the biggest goddamn skull I’ve ever seen.”
Chunderson held up two hands a big ass length apart and stated the skull was “like, this big.” On-site reporters from The Occasionally confirmed Chunderson’s claim and noted that yeah, it was about that big.
While it remains unclear what animal the skull comes from, Chunderson was adamant it was “a real big one.” We are inclined to believe him, seeing as the skull is pretty ****ing big.
Chunderson has decided to keep the Big Ass Skull as a decorative piece for his front yard. He has positioned it a tasteful distance away from a cactus and occasionally rolls a tumbleweed across the scene due to his unwavering commitment to aesthetics.
“All y’all are welcome to visit me and this big ass skull anytime,” offered Chunderson. “Just come see how big it is. It’s ****in’ huge. God. Nature is amazing.”
Editor’s Note: This article is purely satirical and fictitious. All attributions in this article are not genuine, and this story should be read in the context of pure entertainment only.